Repair · 10 minutes
After an argument: repair plan
Name your feelings and needs, then agree on a calmer next conversation.
Open toolBefore you begin
Start only when both people feel safe and willing to talk. If either person is overwhelmed, agree on a pause and a specific time to check back in. The goal is understanding one issue, not winning the whole history of the relationship.
- Ask whether now is a good time; accept a no.
- Describe one event, your feeling, and a specific request.
- Take turns summarizing each other before discussing solutions.
These are educational conversation aids, not therapy. Use them when both people feel safe and willing. If there is fear, coercion, or violence, prioritize individual support. Find support
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Should we always resolve an argument immediately?
No. A mutually agreed pause can make listening easier. Give a realistic return time rather than disappearing. If there is fear, coercion, or violence, prioritize individual safety and specialist support instead of a joint exercise.